Literary Zone


1 November 2008 at 03:40 | 548 views


By Josephine Ansumana, Freetown, Sierra Leone.

Holidays are happy times
Spent with loved ones
Reliving happy memories
When the cares of the world
Are laid to rest
Until the illusion fades
Away and the reality returns.

But I have never been lucky with holidays
That is when the shutters fall
And the demons are free at last
To torture my mind, and tear my heart apart
I fear their accusations and the
Loneliness they bring, cause no one
Shares my days, but my tortured soul.

The worst experiences in my life have all
Happened around the holidays
The very first Christmas eve I recall
I guess I was about five
I torched the hair on my head
With a lighted candle.
But for our good neighbor “Connah.”
I could have been scared for life.

The next was when I came home from school
Expecting holiday gifts as before
Sadly, there were no new dresses,
No toys, or presents from my parents.
That year, my father went private
And times were pretty rough then.
They could not afford the extras
They made no big deal of it.

Then came the time my dad was so ill,
I had to rushed him to the hospital
I came home from University then
I matured overnight into a responsible woman.
They took him to the Emergency ward
Then to the Intensive care unit it was.
Admission and tests they ordered
Operations scheduled two days later.
I prayed as I never had before,
It all happened on Christmas Eve.

Then there was the year I had
My daughter on Halloween’s day
Post natal blues, I struggled with
Highs and lows were my mood swing
But no one really cared then.
By Christmas Eve that same year
Her father and I were estranged.
My emotional journey started then.

Then there was the first Christmas
I spent away from home.
And away from my daughter too.
My heart bled all the while
And I shed a million tear drops
All because of the million miles apart
It was then I lost the meaning of Christmas.

The Christmases that followed
Were no better since.
Each a constant reminder
Of a serrated and bleeding heart
A broken heart all hope had lost
A mix of tears and sobs to ease my pain
My mind refreshed by faith renewed to
Expunge the anguish from my lonely soul.

I fear holidays and what they bring,
A cry of anguish for wishful thoughts
For true love in silence, I hope and pray
My heart slowly bleeds for a lost love
While my very being tortured by
The pains of loneliness, quietly waits
For a new day soon to dawn

Holidays are happy times,
Like no other time of the year.
Their magic is real and simple and true
A time of giving, a time for sharing
A time of faith, hope, love and charity
Impossible dreams, wonder and fairy tales
A time of forgiveness and mercies given
Of divine love, freely given and miracles blest.